I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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