oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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