did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
