cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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