if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
