We won't sleep together?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
