I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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