So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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