So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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