i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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