Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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