She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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