She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
