I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
