im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
