what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Randomize
