I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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