YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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