I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
