and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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