Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
