he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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