Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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