If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize