how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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