Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
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Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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