apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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