It's like God shit irony all over that family
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
