my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
