Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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