HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
sex in a hospital.. check
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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