Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
