i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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