They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize