she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
