Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
