Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
