All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
