He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
