That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize