It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
