I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
