I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
