I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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