Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
