Fine. I'll sleep in my office
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
