there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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