I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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