He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
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The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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