"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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