She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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