so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
