I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
