i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
